Fun with Veriz*n

We have Verizon DSL, web and for the past year have been enjoying a reduced rate because we signed up for a 1yr commitment. For a month now, dentist we’ve been getting renewal notices in the mail, via e-mail, pretty much every way short of having someone knock on our door and beg us to renew.
When I tried to renew online, the system was down. When the system was back up the next day, the only option was to renew the current plan we had. (I wanted to switch to a different one, which wasn’t an option) There was no phone number to talk to a person. So I clicked around until I found Verizon’s “contact” page. The automated voice at the customer (dis)service number informed me that switching anything regarding my DSL could not be done at that number. Rather than give me the proper number, the automated voice told me to try the webpage. Right.

So back to the webpage, where the automated system paused two minutes to verify that DSL was available at my number approximately seven separate times (ironically, while I was connected to the system BY the DSL that it was trying to verify). Each time, the webpage came back with the “GOOD NEWS!” that FIOS is available at my residence. Which would be fine, if I wanted FIOS. Which I don’t. And from the FIOS page, the only options were to learn more about FIOS or order FIOS.

It took me about an hour of fiddling around at their wonky webpage to find a phone number to call to change my DSL service. Which I called. Only to find out that it was only staffed during regular business hours and call back some other time.

Which I just did, and I am here to inform you, dear reader, that Verizon has, without a doubt, the absolute worst hold music I’ve had the misfortune to discover to date. Initially the music was a 80′s Casio keyboard and strings type arrangment of “I Love You Just the Way You Are.” It was followed by some pseudo-italian bistro piece of crap that made my ass twitch.

Normally I would do Verizon the favor of sticking a little asterisk in there so that this post didn’t come up on search pages (not that it would ever be anywhere near the top, but I’d do it for the principle of the matter) but I think the public has a right to know. People must be warned, so that they can brace themselves against the horror that is tinny, schlocky hold music.

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