[The scene: This morning. In the bathroom. I am brushing my teeth,
Claire: [spotting an ant on the floor] Mama! An ant! Kill it! Kill it!
Me: Leave the ant alone, it’s not bothering anything.
Claire: It’s a carpenter ant! It will eat the carpet! Kill it!
Me: It will not. Leave the ant alone.
Claire: Look, at the ant, Mama! I see its antlers!
Me: Those are antenae, not antlers.
Claire: [with audible eyerolling] What-EVER.